Permission to Pause: Why Time Away Makes Us Better Moms

Written by Gillian Behnke

Stepping away isn’t about escaping your life—it’s about reconnecting with yourself beneath the roles you carry. This piece explores why moms need intentional time away, how even small pockets of space can shift everything and why creating room for yourself is essential, not indulgent.

There’s a moment that happens for many moms, sometimes quietly, sometimes with a thud, when we realize we’ve been running on fumes for far too long. Our days fill with schedules, logistics, emotional labour, invisible tasks and obligations, and the constant responsiveness that motherhood demands. We love our children fiercely, but somewhere along the way, our own needs slip beneath the surface. We end up at the bottom of our own priority list.

For years, I thought this was just how it was supposed to be. Moms give, stretch, absorb, carry, and if we’re lucky, we squeeze in a few minutes for ourselves before collapsing at the end of the day.

It wasn’t until I intentionally stepped away from the swirl of responsibilities that I understood something essential: getting away isn’t about escaping your life; it’s about creating a life you don’t need to escape from.

When you do take time away, it’s about returning with clarity, energy and a sense of self that often gets buried under the day-to-day.

Wherever we live, there are places that invite us to breathe a little deeper, a walk in the neighbourhood, a familiar stretch of road, a spot by the water or simply the quiet of being alone for a while. Yet moms often hesitate to claim that kind of space for themselves. We worry it’s selfish. We feel guilty. We plan a weekend away and then second-guess our decision. We continuously make space for everyone else but struggle to make space for ourselves.

But here’s the quiet truth we don’t talk about enough: stepping away is often the thing that brings us back home to ourselves.

I learned this firsthand. A few years ago, I had an idea for a simple weekend in the woods with other moms — good food and wine, meaningful conversation, personal development, time in nature. I had no idea it would grow into the community it is today; I just knew I needed a place where moms could breathe. We gathered in Squamish, B.C., where the mountains feel grounding and the air itself reminds you to slow down. A place where we could show up as whole humans, not just caregivers. Where rest wasn’t earned, it was encouraged.

And something remarkable happened. When mothers stepped away from the constant “on-ness” of their lives, even for just two nights, they softened. They laughed more easily. They remembered parts of themselves they hadn’t visited in years. They found connection in the simplest ways: conversations around a fire, movement without rushing, morning coffee without anyone asking for something, quiet moments that created space for reflection.

But you don’t need a retreat or structured getaway to experience that reset. Time away can look like:

• A night in a small town a few hours from home
• A slow morning alone at a favourite café
• A day trip to the ocean, the mountains or a trail you’ve never explored
• A staycation where you check into a local hotel and let yourself rest
• Swapping childcare with a friend so you each get a weekend morning to yourselves

The point isn’t the format, it’s the space. The pause. The ability to hear your own thoughts again.

When moms get away, even briefly, several powerful things happen:

1. Mental load decreases long enough for clarity to return.
   Constant decision-making means our brains rarely rest. Space away interrupts that pattern long enough for perspective to re-emerge.

2. Restorative rest becomes possible.
   Not the “I closed my eyes for six hours” kind of rest, the deep, nervous-system-level reset that comes from slowing down.

3. Identity expands again.
   Motherhood is a beautiful identity, but it is not the only one we carry. Time away helps us reconnect with the parts of ourselves that exist outside caregiving.

4. Connection gets deeper: with ourselves and with others.
   Stepping away often leads to new conversations, stronger friendships and the kind of community that sustains us long after we return home.

5. We model what healthy boundaries look like.
   When our children see us take care of ourselves, they learn that their own needs matter too.

There’s a quiet power in claiming space for yourself, especially in a culture that praises moms who do everything without pause. But there’s an even greater power in acknowledging that rest is not a luxury; it’s a foundation. It allows us to return to our families with more patience, more presence and more joy. We come home able to show up the way we want to.

Motherhood doesn’t come with many built-in breaks. We have to create them for ourselves—and we’re better for it. So consider this your permission slip to step away. Book the weekend. Take the day. Say yes to the reset your body has been craving.

Because when moms get away, something beautiful happens: we come back to ourselves—and everyone benefits from that.

Interested in learning more about Gillian’s Mom Camp? Visit momcamplife.com or follow along @momcamplife.